You're an operator of an arcade. An easy gig; kids line up with gold pouring out of their unlimited pockets, ready to fill the gullets of your wallet. Your job: Keep getting new machines that you know they'll play. How do you know what's hot on the market? - You receive occasional flyers from promoters for their upcoming releases.
You're handed an ad for Spinal Breakers, a standard run'n'gun shooter. So, what is it about this particular flyer that catches your eye more than the others?
SPINAL BREAKERS
A DEADLY SITUATION...
Hildroids were created by humans as a worker force. They had no will, no intelligence, and were submissive robots. Then it happened...
Several nuclear explosions around the globe triggered a nuclear war - man's worst nightmare. But nothing compared to the terror of the mutated, now murderous hildroids. In horror and defeat, man fled to the stars.
Now, Captain Waffle must return to Earth and smash the hildroids, before they can complete a diabolical plan to alter history, and destroy humanity.
1-2 Player HYPER-Active
Continuation and Buy-In
"ADD-A-COIN" Feature
3 Dramatic Endings
So, let me remind you that this was in 1990. M. Bison was renamed as Balrog. Rock Man became Mega Man, much to the dismay of his sister Roll. Kunio was dubbed Alex. Translation companies could change characters, locations, or plot at a mere whim. And then we have Spinal Breakers.
This leaves me with one conclusion. Whoever did that flyer found that such a war/shooting game as this one was so epic, that only by leaving the hero's name as it was could it transcend from fable to legend.
The soldier in the ad has slicked hair and a strong jaw. His armour is police-like and his weapon formidable. Even his Timex is sexy. Someone must've really had it out for that guy. Do you know why you've never seen this model/actor in anything ever?
Kid: "Hey rad dudes. Wanna come over to my zone and get tubular with some gnarly games?"
Punks: "That's bogus! No way we'd hang with someone heinous who has Captain Waffle for a dad."
Captain Waffle [watching his rejected son getting beaten up in the front yard by kids in neon pajama pants]: A silent tear runs down his cheek.
No comments:
Post a Comment